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January 12, 2010

Coming out of the Closet

I bet I have your attention now! But no.I'm not gay.

image  

I'm not really coming out of the closet.more like coming out of the pantry.

Over a year ago, some things happened that turned my life upside down. I won't get into it but it caused me to lose focus. And it went unchecked.I allowed it to completely derail me.

Oh sure, there were timed I regained my focus for a moment. I even managed to do a 10k run back in September. But as soon as the run was over, I fell pretty hard.

One of the worst parts about it is that I felt I couldn't really share what was going on with anyone because after losing 93 pounds, I was sort of a celebrity. I had articles written about me, and people were asking for my help all the time. I just really felt like if I let it be known that I gained back any sizable amount of weight it would let down those that were looking up to me.

So I suffered in relative silence. Became reclusive and stopped taking care of myself all together.

This is one of the reasons my brief attempts at regaining focus would be so short lived. It was like I gained back the weight and now I not only had to hide the fact, but couldn't step out into the light again until I fixed the problem.

So I'm about to come clean. Like Erik Chopin (Biggest Loser winner that gained it back) I'm going public.

image Erik, you da man!

I stepped on the scales a couple of weeks ago and found to my horror that I weighed 307 pounds.

307 pounds.

There I said it. That's the heaviest I've ever been. But I'm done hiding.it is so NOT the way I lost the weight in the first place. TokenFatGuy has always been about putting myself out there and making society understand that while I was fat I was also a 'work in progress'.

So for all of you that have wondered, "Whatever happened to TokenFatGuy", well.I've been eating. But I'm done now. I'm back on the road to fixing what is wrong with me.

Now I just need to figure out how to post this to my blog. I forgot how all this stuff worked.

As a final note.just writing this stuff down, I feel better. I feel free. Except I guess this means I need to start looking up more zombie stuff for my front page.

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