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August 1, 2009

Fighting the Losing Battle

It was October...Something happened...then stuff kept happening...more and more stuff...stuff I can't go into...it just kept happening....my world turned upside down.dreams shattered.hopes turned to dust.  My world changed.

Since then, I've really let things slide.  I've tried to get back on top of it...tried to recapture the magic that I used to drop all the weight in the first place but 'stuff' just kept derailing me.

So I'm starting at the beginning.  Not literally.  I didn't put back on ALL the weight, but I have to come clean and admit that I did put a sizable amount back on.  Perhaps this is the universe's why of keeping me in check.  I was getting really cocky about my weight loss there for a while.  Perhaps I needed this to humble me.  Maybe this is the next lesson.  The lesson of the 'rebound'.

What really happened? 

Stuff...stuff happened.  I can't be any more specific than that.  But all kinds of stuff...it was small at first but since I didn't deal with it right away, it quickly spiraled out of control.  And like an idiot, I went running back to food for comfort...ignoring everything I'd learned in the last 3 years.  What's scary is how easily it happened.

So where am I now?  I have to be honest....I've put on about 40 pounds.  There I've said it...I've admitted it to what is left of my audience.  And now that I've admitted it, I can deal with it out in the open, like I used to.  Instead of sneaking around and not owning up to what happened.

New week 0-1

Last week, I cut out the sodas and resumed my running.  This week, I'm doing some of my strength training.  Then next week I'm putting back on the Body Bug.  That's about as much change as I want to do in a couple weeks.  Any more than that, and I'm doing too much at once.  Baby steps were key to my success last time.  So we are going to do it again.

I'm keeping it short this week.  My running is mostly walking with a quarter mile run in the middle.

But what is really important is that I finally took some time to sort things out in my head.  With my thoughts in disarray I couldn't keep the focus I had before.

Progress

I've already dropped 3 pounds.  So I'm working in the right direction now.  I guess we will see what we see.