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February 11, 2008

Mirrors and other reflective stuff

I get up in the morning and dutifully do my workout...even on days that I just don't feel like it.  And because I push myself to keep to this important part of my daily regiment, I tend to feel more awake, alive....and just a little self righteous.  By the time I get to work, I'm feeling pretty darn good about myself.

And that's where it all comes crashing down on me.  As soon as I get out of my car and start to approach the building, I can see my reflection in the huge glass entryway.  I have to watch myself as I walk up to the door....in that unforgiving glass....that horrible glass.

All that changed about a week ago.  Now before you ask, NO I didn't toss a rock at it.  I wanted to...but I didn't.  Last week when I walked up to the door I didn't look that bad.  I looked ok.  I mean, I'm still fat...I still have a long way to go.  But I don't look bad anymore.

Since then I've noticed that I've been feeling pretty comfortable in my skin.  I'm not so anxious about weigh-ins.  I'm more concerned about pushing my body and seeing what it can do than worrying so much about if I'm losing weight.

That's when something really amazing happened.

I was getting ready for work one morning.  I looked into the bathroom mirror and recognized the person looking back at.  I think only people that gained a bunch of weight and then lost it will truly know what I'm talking about.

For me, getting really fat meant that everyday it because more and more difficult to recognize myself in the mirror.  At my heaviest (292 pounds) my body was so distorted that I didn't know the person in the mirror any longer. 

But now I look into the mirror and I can see....myself.  I little heavier than I remember....and a little older too.  But I know that guy in the mirror.  His name is Robert.

New Picture

Those of you have have been on either www.TokenFatGuy.com or my Spark page, www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=TOKENFATGUY, have probably seen my 3fat picture.

3fat

Well, I've been trying to get a good 4th picture added on.  I finally got a good candidate.  So I posted it on Spark and everyone seems to like it so now I'm making it official.  This will be the new 4th picture....

Cropped 88

Now let's pull it all four together...

4dogs

Darn dogs!  Get out of here!

4fat

There we go...What's everyone think?

11 Comments:

Anonymous Katt1971 said...

your so funny but I totally relate I miss myself and I look forward to recognizing my innerself one day in my reflection. Great blog and keep up the great work.

February 11, 2008 at 1:48 PM  
Blogger Adam said...

Sexy man boobies.

February 11, 2008 at 4:35 PM  
Anonymous kim said...

Lookin GOOD! :)

February 11, 2008 at 4:43 PM  
Anonymous arindana said...

Great blog post! Thanks for sharing and making me think too. In fact, it put me into a frame of mind of what Father Joe said a few years ago at a speech for one our school board functions about how we deal with the world each and every day and how we react from the moment we get up.

I have always hated looking in a mirror. Even when I was skinny. But now I'm not afraid because I see the changes and it makes me feel good.

BTW, you look much younger with your thinner self. Way to go!

February 11, 2008 at 7:26 PM  
Blogger David said...

Lookin good man! Thanks for the talk btw - did me a world of good. Now, two things:

1. SMILE!!
2. Shave off the jaw hair - keep the goatee. At this point your face is actually thinner than the beard makes you look.

And Arindana is correct - you look much younger than before.

February 12, 2008 at 1:53 PM  
Anonymous Bridge said...

YOU LOOK GREAT DAD! Even better than when I saw you like 2 months ago!! Keep it up.. :)

February 12, 2008 at 6:48 PM  
Blogger Robert said...

Thanks everyone! Its nice to know that folks are still supporting me out there.

Adam, my pecs are still a bit fatty at the bottom, but I'll get there.

February 13, 2008 at 3:24 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are an inspiration Robert!! Keep up the good work!

Yer cousin
Barb

February 20, 2008 at 5:34 AM  
Anonymous Angie said...

I saw your profile on SP, from the mind over body group. CONGRATS on the loss!

February 20, 2008 at 4:46 PM  
Anonymous bellydancegurl said...

The new pic is really great. You look a lot younger than your first pic.

February 22, 2008 at 1:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree wth others before me...you look much younger in the new pic. "How to look 10 years younger..." LOL!
Vicki aka PUTTITAT @ SP

April 7, 2008 at 3:33 PM  

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