I'm taking a few days off from work while I try to get my head straight.

I ordered a new exercise bike so I can get in some cardio.  With the problems I've been having with my foot I'm not going to be be able to run for a while.  So I need a replacement activity.  The bike was delivered a few days ago.

Workout number 1: The first workout was getting the bike into the house and down the stairs without killing myself.

Workout number 2: The second workout was putting the thing together.  So much sitting down, getting up, crawling around, lifting.blah blah blah.  But then it was done and my new exercise bike was ready for use.

The Schwinn 240 Recumbent bike..nice, huh?  Looking good.just one problem.  The display doesn't work correctly.  Its like everything that can light up, does.  If you hold your head just right, you can see what is supposed to be displayed but with the rest of the display also lit up, its not easy.  So I'll be calling today to get a replacement display board.  But at least I can start using it until the new board arrives.

Workouts 3 and 4: When I was going to the gym regularly on my 'bike days' I was doing about 45 minutes on the thing.  Starting all over again.I can handle about 5 or 6 minutes.  And after that my legs are wobbly for the rest of the day. So I'm starting small and working my way up.  My workouts are now like this.

• 6 minutes of bike
• 5 minutes of rowing
• Bench presses
• Seated rows
• Military presses
• Lying tricep extensions
• Standing curls

Its not the best workout I've ever put together but it isn't supposed to trigger a lot of muscle growth or anything like that.  This is just to get my muscles and my cardiovascular system to wake up.  Once I'm used to the activity level again, I'll start taxing my system like what I used to do.  For now I just need a boost to get my motor running.

Food.I'm still not eating right.  I'm doing better but still not right.  I'm taking some of the blame on this but a big stack of blame goes to the morons at Sears.  My fridge (a side by side unit) started acting up a while back.  The bottom half of it freezes anything I put in there.  So I can only use the top half.  I've had the Sears repair people over THREE TIMES so far and its still doing it.  Its hard to eat right when you have limited storage space for food.  I want to have raw veggies but they are useless if they are frozen.

Anyway, parts are on order and they are coming on Wednesday to fix it.at least that's the plan.  Of course I'll have to go shopping after its fixed.  I know just who to take with me!

I ordered some new straps for my Body Bug.  That's the one bad thing about the new Bugg, the straps for the old one don't fix.  I think they do that on purpose to get you to buy more stuff. 

I like the new design but thing about the straps really bugs me.get it?  Bugs me..

Hey.these are the jokes, people.

Anyway, that just about catches me up.  Time to sign off and go do my workout.

I did it.  I actually beat the odds and did it.  I'd gone from being a person that was pushing 300 pounds to being a lean 199 pounds.  So what happened?

It was easier than you'd think.  And what's worse, I couldn't write about it until now.

Any of you that are still checking my site for updates (and how I love you for it) know that I had a major event that just completely turned my life upside down.  I couldn't talk about it at the time.  But now its 'let the cat out of the bag' time.

A number of years ago, my lovely wife Heather had some odd twitching issues when she slept.  It wasn't major.  I'm a pretty deep sleeper so it had to get to a certain level before we even knew it was happening.  And when It did, I'd put my arm around her and just hold her still until it either passed or I fell asleep.  It was kind of cute at the time.  I just viewed it as one of those quirky things that made her so unique.

However, as time passed it got worse.  And it became increasingly harder to hold her steady.  Initially we thought it was probably something like restless leg syndrome.  But we were wrong.

Heather started going to doctors.  I didn't like any of the things they were telling us.  I'm not fond of doctors in the first place and the idea of my wife/best friend having something going on inside of her that we didn't fully understand.well.that scared the hell out of me.

But no one was giving us a definite answer.  Tests.tests.more tests.wait..monitor.compare scans.  It took years.  And meanwhile the twitching was getting worse.  I couldn't hold her when it happened.  I think that's when I started to really freak out about it.  No matter how strong my weight training was making me.I wasn't strong enough and would NEVER be strong enough to hold my wife still when she got her night shakes. 

What good was all this training doing if I couldn't even perform this simple task?  I was starting to drift off my path.

Then we finally found out.we finally learned what the problem was.  The neurologist had us come in for the news.  Heather has multiple sclerosis (MS).  My whole world shank to the size of that room.  I remember them talking about options, treatments, reading material.what the future had in store.  But I couldn't tell you any of it.  I didn't hear much past the diagnosis.  It just kept ringing in my head.

To my wife's credit, she took the news surprisingly well.  Later there were issues but at the time she took it well.  I didn't..I couldn't.  No cure.NO CURE.I couldn't stop thinking about it.  I couldn't focus.

No, I didn't deal with it well at all.  I am humbled to admit it but everyday I drove to work I cried in the car where she wouldn't see me do it.  It was as if all the joy had been stolen from my life and I would never ever feel any other way.  No, I wasn't dealing well with it at all.

And to make it worse, I couldn't tell anyone.  Heather didn't want people to treat her differently.  I told my manager because I had to take time off work occasionally but after that.only a few close friends knew.  And blogging was completely out of the question.  Which is way I stopped writing.  If I couldn't write about what was on my mind.well..what else is there to write about??

My life up-ended, I slowly started putting weight back on.  Now I'm worse off than I was.  Along the way I made some half hearted attempts to get myself back on track but until I could deal with the real problem, they were all doomed to failure.

Luckily Heather went public a while ago.so I've been free to start up again.  But then.well it was embarrassing really.  "So.you put all your weight back on?  Not such a big shot in the weight loss community anymore, are you?"  I just didn't want to face it.  At least not until now.

You know what?  I don't care if someone wants to give me a hard time over this.  If that's the type of person they are, then they aren't the type of person whose opinion I care to put stock in.  Hey, I'm Token Fat Guy..I don't care what other people think.  Wait a moment.I'm Token Fat Guy!  When on Earth did I start caring if someone thought I looked silly or not??  I post my weight on my shirt for all the world to see.

What the heck has been wrong with me all this time?  I just needed to get it down on paper.er.virtual paper..whatever.  Yeah, that's right.  Now I'm feeling better.  And what's more..I'M BACK!!!!!

WHAWHOOO!!!!!!!

Now here is a cute kitty because that's the type of thing I like..

And just like THAT I remember how to write a blog!

This is a test post.  The test posted.  I'm not sure what I'm doing now.  I just haven't been writing for fun anymore and I miss it.  I don't know if I'm going to keep TFG going or not. 

Mostly I just wanted to see if my accounts were still active and I remembered how to blog post to the site.  Everything seems to be working.

I'm not sure what I'm doing.